- I don’t feel like myself any more… Less confident and anxious… Do you think it’s normal? Has anyone after becoming a parent said anything like this to you before? - Dorothy asked.
- Absolutely yes Dorothy. You are a mother now. Your attention and focus has shifted from just looking after yourself, your husband and business to looking after a baby. The most precious and most vulnerable creature. So now basically you are in alert mode most of the time. When you’re at work, when you are asleep and during the day you look out for potential dangers or things to worry about.
- It is very difficult to control and I feel like I am loosing myself.
- Well you can’t pour from an empty cup Dorothy, and this is what I do and recommend to my patients…
Becoming a parent is the biggest change in our lives and it is a huge sacrifice of your time, health and resources. Especially if you don’t have family around to help you. We start to put out all energy to support the life of the baby and making sure we do the best, often getting to the limits of our energy levels and exhaustion. You don’t sleep enough, there’s a lot of crying, noise and strong emotions. You can also find yourself in awkward positions when changing the baby and carrying it, so low back pain and upper back pain is very common in young parents. If you decide to breastfeed the baby, as a mother you need to make sure you find the most comfortable and relaxed position for yourself, as you will be in these positions a lot!
Despite all that there are still ways to support your own health, so you can support the health of your baby and spouse.
1. Before becoming a parent start regular physical activity. If you are planning to have a baby try to get to the peak of your health (not necessarily performance), by optimising your diet and exercises. This is an investment that will pay off when the baby arrives, you’ll be able to tolerate stress and fatigue better.
Do what you enjoy and do it on consistent basis. For some it will be going to the gym (3x a week is perfectly enough), running, cycling, tennis, swimming or a mixture of all. As long as you do it regularly, you can improve your health. Cut down on alcohol to minimum and try to cook your own food. For females foods rich in folic acid or even taking supplement is recommended before getting pregnant.
2. When the baby arrives, for the first couple of weeks you can probably forget about having any time for yourself. And to be honest now is the time to bond with the baby, get to know it and learn how you can support yourself in a relationship and try to chill out as much as you can.
Baby is asleep – you go for a nap. This is a rule that’s worth to keep as the baby gets older too.
3. No time for going to the gym? Exercise with the baby.
- go on regular walks with a baby in a pram. Brisk walks is an excellent way to reduce the effects of stress and keep your cardiovascular health in good state- you can perform squats whilst holding the baby, to keep your legs and postural muscles strong
- when baby is on the floor (mat is preferable) you can always do some push-ups, planks or other exercises with your own body weight
- if you have the luxury of grandparents living nearby and they are happy to help to look after the baby for a bit – then of course hit the gym!
- if you don’t have that luxury, you might need to shift your way of thinking about exercises from attending structured activities to “I’ll do whatever I can for a bit whenever I have moment”
4. Find 5-10mins just for yourself to relax. By relax I don’t mean “distract yourself” with other stimulation. So:- don’t watch TV, don’t look at your phone or even playing music in that relax time
- lie down on the floor in complete silence and just enjoy that moment of peace. That’s how you calm down your brain and body down
- if you have an Acupressure mat that’s a great way to relax as well
5. If you never thought about taking supplements it might be a good idea to look into taking some to get a boost. Breastfeeding mothers – always consult any supplementation with your doctor. Blokes – you consult it as well, however you don’t need to be as careful. It can be a mind field on what to take and there are some mixed opinions on that. If there’s a nutritionist near by – get their support. Generally it’s best to keep good diet (which most new parents don’t have time to keep and prefer quick solutions and comfort foods) but there are some low risk supplements that can help reducing the effects of lack of sleep and oxidative stress:- vitamin C
- magnesium
- D3 + K2
- B complex (to take intermittently)
6. Get a massage. If you can find 45mins to 1 hour of time twice a month or even once a month, massage therapy is a wonderful way to support your health during this challenging process.
- You have a moment to yourself in a neutral environment
- You can ease off a build up of tension in your muscles by a professionals
- You can ease off aches of pains
- You have a good quality rest
7. A lot of cuddles with your partner. 20 seconds of hug from a partner can reduce stress and increase the levels of love hormone – oxytocin, which makes you feel safer, calmer, happier and more healthier as a result. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15206831/
And again please remember. You CAN’T POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP. Filling your emotional cup is very important.
If you live in the south of Liverpool around Mossley Hill or Allerton we are next door!
Mateusz “Matt” Ciesielski Pain Relief Therapy 07784751656 hello@painreliefliverpool.com
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